It is currently Sat Nov 17, 2018 3:15 am




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 
 Newbie: Review request TRN 4082 / 6885 
Author Message
Forum Beginner
Forum Beginner

Joined: Thu Sep 07, 2017 6:56 pm
Posts: 2
Post Newbie: Review request TRN 4082 / 6885
Dear Friends,

I just completed DVD 1. No prior experience. I am beginning my "one week practice" by looking at RVRobot's "Bootcamp" targets.

My target here was TRN 4082 / 6885 ; the feedback was http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z216/rvrobot/6.jpg

My worksheets are presented below. Any help/feedback/advice that can be offered will be most appreciated.

Issues:
    I know that I forgot to put my pen down (frequently) after recording my AOLs.
    I do not know what is meant by "add any spontaneous archetypes..."
    Was the target the people in the photo, or the environment the people were in? <-- big question for me ... getting an EI for an inanimate object confuses me.
    Was this photo prepped properly? (i.e., lack of line indicating the target)?
    Is RVR's "Bootcamp" an appropriate pool of source material for me? Other sources?

Thank you for your time & consideration.

Respectfully,
Pete

Image
.
Image
.
Image
.
Image
.
Image
.
Image
.
Image
.
Image
.
Image


Sat Sep 09, 2017 8:25 pm
Profile
RV Professional
RV Professional
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 8:53 am
Posts: 541
Location: Planet Earth
Post Re: Newbie: Review request TRN 4082 / 6885
First of all, welcome to the community forums. Keep posting your work and we will make sure you get it down correctly. Congratulations, you have made the first step to getting better and are on the right track; by posting your work. Many attempt the skill/dvd set, and many do not publish their failures. Only by doing so will allow you to get better. Put your ego aside, and do the work: you will get better at it. I promise.

Peter wrote:
Issues:
    I know that I forgot to put my pen down (frequently) after recording my AOLs.


Yeah, that is an issue. Try to make to corrections in your next session


Peter wrote:
I do not know what is meant by "add any spontaneous archetypes..."


If you IMPULSIVELY feel that there is something else that belongs there, add it in. Some people ask themselves if there is something else here... Otherwise, just leave it alone.


Peter wrote:
Was the target the people in the photo, or the environment the people were in? <-- big question for me ... getting an EI for an inanimate object confuses me.


1st: The target was the entire scene. People and the roller coaster. The photo is not the actual target. The scene that the photograph was taken of: is the target. Anything, including the camera and the photographer is associated with the actual target.

2nd: Getting a strange EI is not uncommon in the training stage of your development. Just move on...



Peter wrote:
Was this photo prepped properly? (i.e., lack of line indicating the target)?
Is RVR's "Bootcamp" an appropriate pool of source material for me? Other sources?


Yes to both, carry on...

As for the feedback:

Page 1:

faster with the ideogram. It looks too leisurely. Sugar should have been AOL'd. A proper noun is always an AOL in this stage. Same with Banana, Strawberry, and Vanilla. All should have been expressed as fragrant or sweet.

A Torus is a bit too complex for a descriptor. remember, you are describing something and not naming it.


Page 2:

Aspect labels need to be on the lines themselves. 2 of 3 are not. Make the corrections next round...


Page 3:

Ideogram looks to have the right speed.

Bouncy is not a texture. Stay with the pre-determined descriptor sheet until you finish the DVD course.

Yeasty is too proper noun-ish. Work with simpler terms; like musty.
2-d is not acceptable of a term. Flat would be better.

LP record? this should have been AOL or AOL/s.


Page 4:

Size of my hand is not appropriate in this stage of learning. Use a more vague description. I see no aol-break signs in your AI's. You need to be dropping the pen when you finish writing these words in that column.


Page 5:

Still too slow for an ideogram.

Vanilla is a proper noun and not admissible into evidence for this stage. AOL it.
brittle is not a dimensional word. AOL it.

Asphalt and steam roller are not archetypes. Should have been AOL'd.


Page 6:

Asphalt is not a sensory word. Maybe rough or gritty, but not Asphalt. This is a proper noun and NOT admissible in this column. Do Better.


Page 7:

The ideogram looks to be the proper speed, but is about 30% too long. shorten this one up and come to a point. no trailing off.

Smokey is not a descriptor and is a proper noun. AOL it next time.
Ash is a proper noun. Do better!
Electric snapping is a proper noun. STOP IT. Space is not on your descriptor sheet. Stay to the sheet. Smoke, Chimney and Autumn are not ARCHETYPES. Look up the definition of the term, then compare and understand why they're not.

You have a great start.

Make the changes I told you next session and we will be on the right track. Continue posting your work and I will be there to help for the most part. Carry on...

_________________
Keep at It and Keep Posting It!


Sun Sep 10, 2017 6:02 am
Profile
Forum Beginner
Forum Beginner

Joined: Thu Sep 07, 2017 6:56 pm
Posts: 2
Post Re: Newbie: Review request TRN 4082 / 6885
Thank you for the detailed review. I will try to incorporate the advice.
I will keep practicing and will keep posting.
I am grateful for the community and for those willing to help.

pete


Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:05 am
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Majestic-12 [Bot] and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group.
Designed by Vjacheslav Trushkin for Free Forums/DivisionCore.
[ Time : 0.112s | 16 Queries | GZIP : On ]